Hair (aka McGee's Goatee)
by elbeeinthewild
Summary: Tony and McGee FaceTime a few months after Tony's departure, and there's something a little different about Timmy. Tony/Tim friendship. Post-season 13 snippet. Gen.


Warning: Short one shot, humor bordering on sarcastic. I am mean to McGee's goatee. If you like McGee's goatee and don't want to read mean things about it, pass this by.

* * *

Tony sat down in front of his chiming laptop and smiled when he saw that the incoming call was from McGee. "It's about time you called, probie," he mumbled to himself as he opened a FaceTime window.

"Hey McGee...you're late." Tony did a double take. "Oh my god."

McGee blinked at Tony's exclamation and looked around him, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

Tony leaned closer to his laptop screen and made the FaceTime window larger. "What the hell is that?"

"What? What's wrong?" A confused McGee asked.

"Your face, McGee. What is that on your face?" Tony asked, waving a hand in front of his own face to indicate where the problem lay.

"Oh…it's a goatee, smart ass," McGee replied, stroking the hair on his chin self-consciously.

"I'm so proud; probie can grow facial hair," Tony fake-sniffled and wiped an imaginary tear from the corner of his eye. "I was never really sure, you know?"

"Very funny, Tony."

"So, Gibbs is okay with that?" Tony said, wrinkling his nose, still unimpressed.

"Well the new guy Torres had one and Gibbs didn't say anything, so I decided to grow one too."

"I'm so easily replaced as your role model," Tony sniffed again, lips twitching as he tried not to grin.

"Ha! Don't worry. Torres isn't anywhere close to filling 'Very Special Agent DiNozzo's' very large shoes.

Tony narrowed his eyes. "I think I'm being mocked."

"Only a little," McGee agreed. "We miss you if that helps," he said earnestly.

"Huh…good to be missed. Back to that thing on your face. That sure wouldn't have flown when _I_ was his SFA," Tony said a little resentfully. The irreverent grin returned. "Anyway, so probie has taken over my job of bucking the great order of things in the boss's world now. You have big brass ones," he grinned. "Big _hairy_ brass ones," Tony chuckled, amusing himself. "Maybe he just prefers his newly minted SFA not looking like he's still a baby-faced teenager."

"Always with the jokes, Tony."

"You expected that would change just because I'm not there?"

McGee rolled his eyes. "One can hope."

"Hope does spring eternal. Futile in this case, but eternal," Tony snarked back. "Really, though," Tony said thoughtfully, leaning even closer to study McGee's goatee. "You should reconsider your choices."

McGee grimaced and pulled away from his own screen as Tony's face loomed large for a moment.

"Why is that?"

"Come on. I haven't seen facial hair that bad since Gibbs came back from Mexico with a moustache."

"Hey! What's wrong with it," McGee pouted.

"You _dyed_ it, McGee," Tony said in mock horror. "Your hair too, if I had to guess. So much for trying to look older, tough like the new guy, or whatever it is you were hoping to accomplish. You're trying too hard."

McGee crossed his arms, feeling vaguely annoyed that Tony had a point. "What do _you_ look like with a goatee?" he deflected.

"Me? Never happen," Tony snorted. "I'd look like an arch villain from an old Bond movie. Very camp," Tony asserted with another cheesy grin.

McGee smirked and made a show of thinking hard.

"What are you smiling at?" Tony asked suspiciously.

"I'm picturing that in my head. You're right, very campy," McGee said smugly.

"Now who's funny? Besides, the look is just not _you_ any more than it is me. I mean if you're going to do it, go _natural_."

"But…" he hesitated, anticipating Tony's reaction. "It's _gray,"_ McGee admitted with a cringe. He sighed at the burst of laughter that came through his computer speakers, and resigned himself to more teasing. Tony surprised him, though.

"There's something to be said for aging gracefully, you know," Tony told him seriously.

"Says the guy whose vanity is legend."

"Low blow. I'm hurt, McGee, really," Tony said, clutching his chest dramatically.

"No, you aren't."

"Nope. Not at all, McSnarky. I'm also _not _dying my hair," Tony preened and pointed at the silver strands seen easily in the short hair at his temples.

"Point taken," McGee smiled. "But I think I'll keep it. Delilah kinda likes it."

"Happy wife, happy life," Tony agreed. "Very wise. But…it doesn't scare the kids?"

McGee huffed. "_No_, it doesn't scare the kids. Can we talk about something else now?"

"Sure," Tony replied agreeably. "How's everyone? Gibbs hasn't grown a moustache again, has he?" Tony asked with a side eye. "Because _that_ might be a sign of the apocalypse."

"I don't think you have anything to worry about there, Tony," McGee told him as he settled in to update Tony on all the latest at NCIS and with their friends.

~end~


End file.
